Wh@t a d@Y

I do not know how to describe my feelings today....It's a mix feeling...I wish I could tell someone but I feel it's better for me to write it out instead of telling my friends..I do not want any of them feel been burden by my problems.I believe that everyone is this world has their own problem, it's just a matter of big of small..i wish to have a happy family..But my family can not really give feel the LOVE & warmth.MY family is kind of complicated& full of problems.today i called my mom & I felt a bit unhappy after it.maybe i shouldn't make that call.What I heard in the house is argument between my mom & my eld sister& also my younger sister..the arguments are bad(from what I heard in the phone)..I do not want them to argue.When they argue,they turn out to be quite scary..It makes me have to think twice whether i want to go back or not during my 1 week holiday(study week in April). I have to go some where during that 1 study week because I couldn't stay in my hostel..Got some reasons behind it..

Then, a friend(name Q) that i been known for nearly a year (live in the same hostel nearly 1 year d)had hurt my feelings..yesterday,she make me feel like i'm talking to wall..I asked her something regarding the application to stay in our hostel..she heard what i asked but she do not want to tell me.when i asked her,she said she do not who i'm talking to. in the room only got 3 ppl. i called her with her name.. Impossible she do not know who i am talking to..sigh..

Then,whenever have anything going on in our hostel, i'll be the last person to know..although Q meet with me.She never tell me..Then, when it near the last minute only she'll tell me.maybe she like to see my panic face...Everytime when i knew something,I'll tell her one.i'll never tell her last minute. it hurts..

I knew ppl are different but never knew how scary they can be..
then, a close friend said to me, "why must u treat her so nice?if she mean to u, u must mean back to her''.
but i just couldn't do that..i do not like to hurt anyone feeling..i do not want anyone to get hurt...i do not know why....wish i know the answer..