My past....

everyone in this world must have their own past that they tried to hide from everyone in this world..actually,it's very tiresome to hide the past from everyone else in this world even from ur closest frens..
everything started when i'm in form 5(year 2005)..but it's still fresh in my memory like it just happen yesterday.My older bro starts to gamble in every football match.No one in my family knew about it until one day loan sharks came to our house. they asked for my brother & asked us to pay the debts behalf of him because my bro was unable to pay them.my bro had lost a lot of money in the football matches & he had borrowed the money from the loan sharks..
the nightmares in my life started...Every night,the loan sharks will come to our house & make a lot of fuss..one day,one of the loan shark beat up my mom&my mom's mouth was bleeding..I was so scared that time..No place to go because none of our relatives want us.the main reason is we are poor&not up to their standard.
the loan sharks even threaten to kidnap my ygr sis & i ..in orderr to make money out from it to pay debts that my bro owes them..
my ygr sis & i was very scared to go to school that time..I can't even tell any of my friends about it because my parents feel that the loan sharks things was very shameful.i cried a lot that time..

my parents have to take out their EPF money to pay for the debts but the amount my bro owes was too much..my bro borrowed from different loan sharks that make things worse..the loan sharks destroy our things.my dad cannot do anything also..

the nightmares did not end up like that..my bro turn up to be very fierce because of the incident because he had been beaten up by the loan sharks while he ride own his motorcycle to works..this makes him unable to go to work for feew weeks..
my bro start to lose temper very fast& he even beat my ygr sis& me up..most of the time,i will injured most badly..don't know why i will be become the target for my bro to loose temper.he even took the stool to beat me up..he even took a knife to threaten me..i got injured my wrist because of the knife he used. that time,i hate my bro very much because he had caused a lot of pains in the family.he caused a lot of ppl look down at us..times heal everything i guess..i had forgave him..because he is my brother.because of so many things that happened,I do not dare to start relationship with any guys..I even had rejected a guy who want to be boyfriend..I want him to find someone better than me..i do not want my family things to be a burden to him..now,i'm very happy for behalf of him coz he had found someone in his life..anyways,we will still remain as friends..although everything in my family had settle down&the loan sharks things had settle,I don't have the courage to make myself fall in love in anyone..LOL..

because of that,i was very determined to further my studies..everything that happen did not stop from pursuing my dreams..my family cannot support me for my studies..i knew that...i cannot blame them..i go form6 on my own money.i had to pay everything on my owns..life was very tough that time..i cried a lot..
last time,i used to angry to God & i asked him a lot of WHY???why HE put me in this family where no1 like me?Why HE gave parents who love me less?Why HE took away my Grandpa(the only person in Earth)who love & care from me so early???Why I had to go through so much pains & obstacles?i had stopped myself asking GOD the WHY questions already...I had found out the answer d..God want me to become a very tough person with a gentle heart..

Now,i'm in UKM d..I had lead my life quite happy now..I still care my family..I love them very much no matter what happen..although alone without any company of my family,I was very happy to have friends here..

feeling better saying everything out...
To everyone who had read my blog about "My Past", remember don't give up so easily..the most important things is to lead life happily & meaningfully...
A lot of my friends don't know what type of my life that i had gone through...it's ok for me coz everyone life is different..be H@ppY is most important..life without laughter or smile will turn out to be Dull..lol..^.^