~neW SeM~

eating tangyuan in lecture's hall^^



New semester starts on 21st December. New semester starts with brand new me. I’m enjoying my new semester actually.^^






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intro

I have started to write blog when I was in my second semester of my 1st year in university.

Actually, 1 of my friend I met in university who had encouraged me to write. I think my blog is full of the crappy stuffs. Haha.

When I was sad or happy, I’ll write out my feeling in my blogs. Actually, it helps to soothe my feeling bit by bit.

Let’s me introduce something about myself. I am the 3^rd among my siblings. I am just an ordinary girl like any other girls but my life is a bit complicated because my life is full of problems & problems. All the problems didn’t seem be over or stop. My life never seems to be an easy-going one since the day I am born in this world. I did hate my life a lot at 1st. I never seem to like to be at home. . I even applied to go any other place far & far away from my home because I want to get away from my home.I wanted to run away from the problems arise in my family. But now, I start to learn how important family is & I just cannot run away from problems. There is no problem that cannot be solved, it a matter of time to solve it. The place that I enjoyed a lot in my life was my school. In school, I can really be myself. School is the place where I find true friendship, the place where I gain support from my friends. I even applied to go any other place far & far away from my home because I want to get away from my home. But now, I start to learn how important family is & I just cannot run away from problems. There is no problems that cannot be solved, it a matter of time to solve it.

Although life is still tough as usual, now I am able to handle it & go through it because I have a bunch of cool friends that will support me & accompany me when I was down. Life indeed would be dull if there were no such difficulties.

From the bottom of my heart, I would like to thanks my friends for those years of support. I am glad to have you guys in my life.

Life is short

Actually recently I was quite upset about what happen in my family. it is my brother. he had caused a lot of trouble to my family again. this time, he had done something quite bad. what he did had caused my mom to have a heartache. my mom fall sick again coz of him.
I need a shoulder to cry on. I wish there will be an angel to appear to help me out. I wish I could just tell my friends about what happen but I just could because it is something not nice to share. I was using my whole day to cry out when I found about what happen in my family from my elder sister that day. Finally, I make my decision to online to chat to my friends in order to forget about the problems. While I was chatting to 1 of my friend, he told me about the accident that happened to the 3 Utarian. He told me that, “ Life is short “ for us to use to feel sad on what had happen. no point of crying over the spilled milk. There’s no way to run away from problems. We have to face it. He told me “to stay strong & study is the pathway to a wonderful bright future. If I want to give my family a better life I must study hard now & stay away from all the distractions. Thanks a lot, my friend for helping me to stay focus again^^

Life is short.

We do not know what will happen on the next day when we wake up. Life is unpredictable. Life is just a chance to grow a soul. Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death. Life is short and we have never too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us. Oh be swift to love, make haste to be kind.

Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones. I am not afraid

~mY m@sTeRpIeCe~♥

i had just done with my German level 3 assignments.i had to write an invitation card in German,,nice??



then,this sem i had to take entomology course..then,hv to 100 different species..was very stressful that time-to catch insects..but now,i'm glad coz i had finished it finally..this is my insect box..nice leh??=P

Gone........................... ♥ ♥

It has been 15 years already. But I’m thinking of him. My childhood time won’t be happy if he was not around. What to say? He’s my hero. Someone who is always there for me no matter what happens. I cannot believe that he’s really gone. How sad when the only person who is really love, protect & care for me just gone from this world. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw him lying motionlessly on the coffin. During this rainy season, I keep thinking of him. I miss the moments when u covered me with blanket when I felt cold. I miss the durian that you bought for me to eat. I miss the time the time that you turn on the television for me to watch when cousins did not allow me to watch any cartoon. I miss your protection. I miss the time when you protect me from being beaten or scolded by anyone in the house. When you’re gone, everything changed. My bro start to beat me when he’s not in a good mood. Auntie & uncle keep finding my mistakes & scolded me when mom not around. I can only quietly cry at the corner of the room. I never told mom anything because I did not want any of them to argue. I knew you also did not want it to happen though. Although life was hard at that time, I am able to go through it because I have the piece of sweet memory u gave me.
Grandpa, I wish u are still here. I wish I could show u my achievements. Wish u could wait me to grow up. Grandpa, I love you always. ♥
I get to know one of my cousins when I was in standard 2. He some sort of my far-side cousin. Although I just know him for not long, we become quite close.
But he had passed away from cancer. He’s a brilliant student & his mom put a lot of hopes on him but everything is in God’s hands. May him rest in peace.

Strange

suddenly from a good friend turn to be a normal friend & now it turn to become stranger. maybe we did not have anymore things to say between us anymore. boundary is drawn between us.maybe i just realised it..

Life is full of unexpected things..

we never know when everything will change again..

God knows best..

~things that i gave up~

i gave up a lot things-

2005->>gave up a chance to study in Singapore before entering form 6..i got a call that asked me went for the interview for the scholarship. i was so happy coz i can go to Singapore to further my studies. things turn out quite badly in family. i gave up the chance..

i gave up a lot of things during my high school as well..want to be a perfect in my secondary school.i got chance being selected by my classmates to be perfect,, but i turn all the chance away again coz of my mom.she prohibit me from being a perfect coz she feel that perfect is like someone who like to "kaypo" jobs..what to do??i cannot disobey her..later her disease become more worst...sigh...

what to do if my parents did not support me...

manage to escape from penang at last when i come to UKM..haha

letting go..

Letting go is one of the hardest lessons in life.

In life, there's many things that we have to learn to let go. We have to let go of situations, things, memories, people and even ourselves.

It's easy to form an attachment to people and things. When you've formed an attachment to people and things, it can be a very painful experience and feeling when you realized that it's time to let go. Even the mere thought of not having that person or thing in your life just squeezes your heart in pain.

However, there are times where you or that person has changed to the extent that it's necessary to let go of the relationship or friendship, so that each of you can fulfill your life path.

Letting go of your past and memories are also extremely hard. Even though old memories can be tormenting, yet you might hold on to the past and refuse to move forward. However, by refusing to let go of the painful past, it'll serve as a roadblock to love.

Letting go of your old self and the process of letting the new you emerge can be one of the scariest experiences in your life. But by leaving behind your old self and taking a leap of faith into the unknown, it might just reveal what you are truly capable of becoming.

As I started to picture the trees in the storm, the answer began to dawn on me. The trees in the storm don't try to stand up straight and tall and erect. They allow themselves to bend and be blown with the wind. They understand the power of letting go. Those trees and those branches that try too hard to stand up strong and straight are the ones that break. Now is not the time for you to be strong, Julia, or you, too, will break.
-- Julia Butterfly Hill

~can i escape from my FEAR~

everyone in this world will has his or her own fear. their fears may cause by their experience or trauma..i am not so sure what is mine called..
I'm afraid to be alone.that is my biggest FEAR.weird??

I'm not sure when it started..maybe it started when i was in kindergarten. i was there alone. everyone had went back home already. i do not know where is my mom..the surrounding was so unfamiliar to me. i cried...
my mom arrived quite late,she forgotten me totally-she told me...


I thought i had overcome it already but yesterday i realize i still have the fear in my heart. it causes me to lose my confidence as the fear start to grow stronger.................................................

~meMorIes~

Miss form 6 when i look back at all the pictures we took during form 6..
Oh god,i miss all my frens,teachers in form 6..i miss them a lot..
form 6 is the best!!!
now,it'll be just the memories left in every of our minds..

1-day vacation in Bukit Cahaya

19th July 2009 was a day to remember. I managed to set myself free on that day to join my Natcon OC members for a short trip to Bukit Cahaya. We meet at KL Sentral before setting our journey. I think I am the one who looked weird compared to all of them because I brought my net along. Why I brought the net along? Everyone wondered. When I told them that I need to catch 100 insects for my entomology projects, they were stunned. Haha. Unbelieveable leh??haha

We took ktm till we reached Shah Alam. From there, we took taxi to Bukit Cahaya.




i managed to take pic with rabbits there..LOL..^^


taken pic with sweet Helen


1st time experience on bicycle.i forgot how to ride bicycle d..LOL


After the Bukit Cahaya trip, we went to Klang to have our dinner at a very famous "Bak Kut Teh" restaurant..we have it wif chinese tea..yummy..hehe

sigh!

I plan to go back to my hometown next week but my mom did not want me to do so. I already did not go back for quite long-nearly 4-5 months but still my mom forbidden me from doing so.
I just want to go back for a few days but what to do if my mom said so.
I miss Penang a lot. I miss the people there. I miss the food a lot. Haha!!
I miss my bed a lot. I did not know what happen to my bed already because I did not go back for quite long.
I miss my friends there.
Actually deep inside my heart, I miss my family.
Sigh.
Did they miss me?
I keep questioning myself?
If yes, why they did not want me to go back?
If no, then I can accept why I am not allowed to go back.
Sigh.
God know the answers I guess.
Sigh.

nEw StArT~

My new semester just started. Now I am in the second year already. I cannot believe it that I am a senior right now. Time flies.
My course only has 1 junior this year. I cannot believe it. In our previous batch, we have 15 people. What happened to all the juniors this year? They don’t like Biology?
This semester I have to take 5 majors which are Cytogenetics, , Molecular approach in conservation, Entomology, Population genetics, and Plants physiology. In entomology, we need 2 collect 100 insects individually. Aaaargh….a lot of insects need to catch. Miss form 6. I still remembered how, when & where we went to catch our insects last time for our biology project.
Our group consists of 6 people- Suz, Siew Lay, Mayz, Seow Yee, Rebecca & I.
We went to catch the insects at Botanical Garden. I still remember the moments we met with monkeys here & there, some specimens being destroyed by them, how we act as foreigner from Japan, India when meet with the guards passing by at Botanical garden in order not to get caught by them. Actually, we are not allowed to catch insects there but what to do, we really need those insects for our project..haha.=P .Moment where we were running here & there in order to catch the insects. The smell of chloroform that none of us really like. We used a lot of chloroform to make those insects unconscious. But the chloroform not really works coz some insects did not really “faint” as it should be. Hahaha..XD
Now, I have a new direct senior, Yvonne. I am so happy. She is a very nice person. She gave me her notes yesterday. I am really grateful to have her as my direct senior this semester. She even gave me her dissecting set. Yvonne, thank u so much!!^^

To be continued…..

~cAnNoT Let gO??~

Today, I thought back about my grandpa.
What my grandpa usually called me when I was small-Mei Mei. My family usually called me Li Mei. What my grandpa called was different from what they called me.
I was very close with him. I was very timid when I was small. When I had nightmares, he was the one there for me.

When my parent left me alone at home, he was the one there for me.
I felt safe and protected when he was around.

When he passed away, i learned to be more brave because I knew someone who was always there for me was gone to another world mostly heaven.=P

€~growing up~€

"As we grow up,
we learn that
even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will.
You will have your heart broken probably more than once
and
it gets harder every time.

You'll break hearts too,
so remember how it felt when yours was broken.
You'll fight with your best friend.
You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.
You'll cry because time is passing too fast
and
you'll eventually lose someone you love.

So TAKE too many pictures,
LAUGH too much
and
LOVE like you've never been hurt

because every sixty seconds you spend upsetting
is a minute of happiness you'll never get back!!
Don't be afraid that your life will end,
be afraid that it will never begin."

~mY f@miLy~^^

My family consists of 6 person including me..My mama,papa,2sisters & 1 brother.

My eldest sis is older than me 4years ,my brother is older than me 2 years & my younger sis is younger than me 2 years.LOL

Recently, I start to miss them terribly..Maybe because I do not go back to my hometown for quite long already...






this pic was taken when i went back to Penang during Chinese New Year 2009..taken with my eld sis..




this is my younger sis..To me,she is the prettiest & cutest..miss her a lot although she just love to scold me for no reasons..Already get used to her scolding i guess..i never get angry with her...




this my brother..really hope he can manage his life well..


i do not have my parents' picture because they do not like to take picture..Maybe they are shy i guess...hahaha...=P

coming to an end!~~

Going into my 2nd year soon in July..so fast...time really flies.. I have learned a lot throughout this 1 year.. most important I get to organize myself much better..Become more independent in whatever things i do.
learn to know how people's attitude..
I get to learn to Love myself better..Be kind to myself..This whole year experience really taught me a lot..
Learn to share my thoughts with some good friends who always be there when I need them to listen & have a shoulder to cry on..Thank God for giving such a wonderful friend like Jayne,Pauline,Ah Mei,etc...

I even have a wonderful b'day surprise this year..Thank u so much,guys..love u all so much for giving me such a great birthday surprise in this 1 year as well..

I really grow up a lot without my family members by my side..although in my heart,i miss my family so badly...

Miss them a lot.Mama & papa,I love u..this what i wanted to tell them so long..but i dun really dare to say it coz my parents are quite conservative.
What I can do is to show them my love to them..how I show them will be a secret..^^

Natcon+ Gala Dinner =>> finally

finally,everything has ended..
wow,unbelievable...
although was quite tired & stress up with all the stuffs for Natcon, but i really learned a lot from it..
met a lot of new frens as well/
gonna miss all of them..^^

~The one & the OnLy~

Today,i miss my granpa so much..
The only person who was always there when i'm in trouble..
The only person who always protect me.He will protect me from almost everything from small insects to the Giant rattan..haha

He already gone to the New world for nearly 14 years d..

miss him a lot..

he gave me a lot of sweet memory..
I still remember the first time he bought durian for me to eat..
I still remember everything that he done for me...

miss u a lot,grandpa..huggies...

lucky^^

when it gets hard, lucky in my life
you come towards me like a dream
when i get sad, lucky in my dream
you hold me tight with warm embrace

i smile like this, always
even when the world makes it hard
i don't ever want to show my tears.
even though you don't know my heart yet
because i can still keep your smile, even from afar,
it's a relief

when i want to cry, lucky in my love
you look so handsome in my imagination
when i'm frustrated, lucky in my world
you hold me tight like a dream

i smile like this, always
even when the world makes it hard
i don't ever want to show my tears.
even though you don't know my heart yet
because i can still keep your smile, even from afar,
it's a relief

everything is beautiful. i'm so happy.
i make a wish again in this lonely world

i smile like this, always
even when the world makes it hard
i don't ever want to show my tears.
even though you don't know my heart yet
because i can still keep your smile, even from afar,
it's a relief

take one step towards me

~In LoVe~

Hyunjoong, Kim Bum and Kim Joon did a CF together ^^. cute,,,

OMG...in love with the boys before flower movie...great drama..must watch..haha..

the guys & girl are sooooooo cute...

steamboat for dumpling's day

yesterday was a best day!!i had steamboat with my housemates for dumpling's day..haha..
we went to buy our materials at wet market in kajang around 1.15pm.
then,we had oyr lunch at mcdonald.i did not eat mcd's burger 4 quite long d.feel very happy coz able to eat yest..wohoo..we had fillet-o-fish..

then,we continued our journey to metro kajang-Giant to buy things needed for our steamboat..
when,we reached our hostel..we started to wash the vegetables.etc...then,we started to boil the water before putting in the ingredients..really have an enjoyable day yesterday..