wish i have a lot $$$

Wish i can escape from the life i have now....think of running away before but i can't just leave my family alone..
What to do if you have a bro who keep borrow money from loan sharks & the loan sharks keep coming to your house to ask for money..Why can he remember what happened to our family when he borrowed money from loan sharks before in 2005?why can't he change?where is the salary he got go? Did he went to gamble again?i have no idea.why must he go gamble?He already did not contribute any money to the family and keep asking money from my mom whenever he need money.i feel so sad to see my mom has to give him the money that she need to buy her own medicine.. i wish i have more money so that i could give my mom.Whenever people ask me what is most important to me..My reply is "To Have lot& lot of $$$$."
wish i can settle all my family's financial problems..people who never gone through the life i went to through will never understand "how HARD life is".

Luckily,i'm back to my uni when the loan sharks come to our house..if not,i dunno what will happen..i knew about the loan sharks things when i called my mom.i knew inside her heart,she is very sad..Did u ever see your mom cry before?i did..how sad & how hurt you will feel..I did not tell any of my friends about it.coz i did not want them to ask me lot of questions..maybe i am afraid..I am afraid about what other people will think about my brother...
Now all of my friends are having exams,so i do not want to disturb them..maybe i juz want to escape from telling my friends i guess..

whenever people tell me that i am tough..i wish i could tell them that i am actually quite a timid person..coz of my family's condition,i have to act tough...

i really dunno what or how to tell people whenever they ask me about my bro.
what else i told them..many people(especially my relatives) already considered my bro as the black sheep of our family d.
Wish my bro could turn to a new leaf..will this wish come true???????????

Now,I'm having exams as well.Wish i could fully concentrate on my studies.....

~Hectic day~

I feel very tired nowadays. The burden I carried became heavier than before. Sad because nobody seems able to help me out. What to do? Today I did a very bad things during my field methods trip to the Fernarium( Taman Paku Pakis). It makes me looks ugly or even looks like a bad person. I have no choice. Guess what I did? I scolded my group members for coming late. When I called one the member who is a Malay guy, he told me that he just wake up. Guess what I did again? I scolded him quite badly in the phone& other coursemates look at me. Then, I scolded other three of the guys in my group as well. Maybe they had regretted to join my group already. What to do? Nobody want to do the bad person character – to scold the late-comers. Imagine they late for nearly half an hour. Then ,the other member late for nearly one and a half hour. Imagine I am the person who do not like to scold people. Nobody know how I felt after I scolded people. I feel sad but what to do I need to hide it. I even scolded one of my friends who came late also. What to do? I have to be fair. Maybe she has grew to dislikes me already. What to do?Another friend will think why must I scold them? Why? The reason is I want them to be punctual and do their work well. It is a group project. I do not want to delay anymore.I really very tired. Imagine I have to carry my family’s burden in shoulder since I born. What should I do?
Imagine yourself need to take care of your family’s name because one of your family member keep ruining the family’s name. I need to take care of my family’s name because I am very to see my parents being look down by other relatives. What to do if you born to not-so- rich family? What to do if your parents cannot afford to pay for your fees when you are in secondary school? What to do if your brother keep ruining the family’s name?
What to do if you want tuition for subjects that you are weak in but cannot do it because of family’s condition?
What to do if you have no other choice in your life?
I keep telling myself that I can control my destiny-in order to hang on to my life for so long.
I cannot give up my family. Without them, I would not be in this world also.
I just really need to hang on..
Imagine if one day, I just let go everything. What will happen ?
If your heart no in it. What will happen?
Because of so many things that I need to handle at time, I really did not laugh for quite long already when I come to UKM..sad.. I can make other people around me laugh but nobody able to make me laugh. “Where is the bright smiling face that you used to have last time?”-one of my close friend in hometown ask me. “where has it gone?”-other friend ask.. I do not how to tell them.
Some of them asked me to come back to my hometown-they did not like to see me like that..
What can I do to bring back the bright smile in my face again?
What to do if you want to smile but need to sigh instead?

Sigh…

~meaning of friendships~=)

What would you do if every time you fell in love with someone you had to say good-bye?


What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never be there?


What would you do if for every moment you were truly happy there would be 10 moments of sadness?



What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt?





What would you do if you loved someone more than anything else and you could never have them?



Some people live and some people die.



But I want to tell you I love you and you are a true friend...



That I will always be here for you when and if you need me...






If I died tomorrow, you would be in my heart forever..





Would I be in yours?





You might be best friends one year, pretty good friends the next year, don't talk that often the next year, and don't want to talk at all the year after that.





So, I just wanted to say, even if I never talk to you again in my life, you are special to me and you have made a difference in my life.






I look up to you, respect you, and truly cherish you






Remember, everyone needs a friend, someday you might feel like you have NO FRIENDS at all, just remember this e-mail and take comfort in knowing somebody out there cares about you and always will


I LIKE
MY FRIENDS ALWAYS &
FOREVER! ! !

~t O Re@LiSe~^.<

To realize
The value of a sister/brother
Ask someone
Who doesn't have one.

To realize
The value of ten years:
Ask a newly
Divorced couple.

To realize
The value of four years:
Ask a graduate.

To realize
The value of one year:
Ask a student who
Has failed a final exam.

To realize
The value of nine months:
Ask a mother who gave birth to a still born.

To realize
The value of one month:
Ask a mother
who has given birth to
A premature baby.

To realize
The value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize
The value of one hour:
Ask the lovers who are waiting to Meet.

To realize
The value of one minute:
Ask a person
Who has missed the train, bus or plane.

To realize
The value of one-second:
Ask a person
Who has survived an accident...

To realize
The value of one millisecond:
Ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics

Time waits for no one.

Treasure every moment you have.
You will treasure it even more when

you can share it with someone special.

To realize the value of a friend:
Lose one.

~fOr UKM students only~

Hi all,

I'm just here to share what I've just learnt from a friend - how to download past year papers from PTSL digital library. Cool huh? =P

step 1:
go to http://ptsldigital.ukm.my/


step 2:
key in your user name : substitute the alphabet 'A' in your matrix number with digit one '1'
example: A123456 becomes 1123456 and the password is the same as the one you use to borrow books in the library

step 3: in the database, search for "KERTAS SOALAN"

step 4:
key in the code of your course.
Example: If it's TITAS ZZZT1012, just key in ZT1012
if it's VVVB1493, just key in VB1493

step 5:
click "VIEW DOCUMENT CONTENTS"

step 6:
click "KERTAS SOALAN" to download.



For your information, some codes are not updated. The system is still using the 'old' code.
For example, for those taking TITAS this semester, (if you refer to your exam slip), the code is ZT1033, but it wont be available in the database.
I was told that the 'old' code was ZT1012, so i tried and i found a few sets of past year questions.



For more information, please consult the librarians at 'Kaunter Perkhidmatan Pelanggan, PTSL'


Best of luck for Finals!